You aren't going to believe this Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it
Send your comments and news tips to online.editor@valleyspringcomm.net or click on the "comments" button at the bottom of the story
Editor's Note: We received this little story from Peggy Maddox after she read it at the opening of the recent For Love of Water conference in Wimberley. Peggy and her husband, Joe, are ranch managers at the Holistic Management, Int'l – West Ranch, in Ozona, Texas. It brought the message home for us – in more ways than one. Hope it does for you, too.
God: Francis, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there? What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honeybees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colours by now. But all I see are these green rectangles.
St. Francis: It's the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers "weeds" and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.
God: Grass? But it's so boring. It's not colorful. It doesn't attract butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms. It's temperamental with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?
St. Francis: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plants that crop up in the lawn.
God: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.
St. Francis: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it – sometimes twice a week.
God: They cut it? Do they then bail it like hay?
St. Francis: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.
God: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?
St. Francis: No, Sir. Just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.
God: Now let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?
St. Francis: Yes, Sir.
God: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.
St. Francis: You aren't going to believe this Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.
God: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn, they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to enhance the soil. It's a natural circle of life.
St. Francis: You had better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.
God: No! What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter and to keep the soil moist and loose?
St. Francis: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call 'mulch.' They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.
God: And where do they get this mulch?
St. Francis: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.
God: Enough! I don't want to think about this any more. St. Catherine, you're in charge of the arts. What movie have you scheduled for us tonight?
St. Catherine: 'Dumb and Dumber,' Lord. It's a real stupid movie.
God: Never mind, I think I just heard that story from St. Francis.
4 comments:
What a perfect story. I wrote a similar story years ago, only it was two extraterrestrials that landed in Houston. I chose Houston since it was and still is the capital of vanity and waste. Can you imagine mowing a St. Augustine lawn in the humidity and heat of a Houston summer? I did it until went into recovery by moving to another place where the residents weren’t so vain. There are still newcomers to our area that bring their wasteful habits with them.
If we could convince those that should know better that their foolish waste is going to harm their future generations it would be a special victory. Sadly, their wasteful habits seem to have invaded their DNA.
Unfortunately you folks are not aware of how your county and various industries have colluded to ensure that homeowners often have no choice in this matter at all. You can point your finger to the county-mandated HOAs and the legislators that profit by threatening homeowners with "noncompliance" for failure to engage in all the activity you complain of.
Homeowners aren't choosing this and they are virtually helpless in combatting this on an individual basis. The county effectively mandates HOAs and the developers want them any way because of the authoritarian regime it allows the developer to have over the homeowners.
Many of these HOAs in Hays County are controlled by developers (e.g., Belterra, La Ventana, Ledge Stone, Howard Ranch, the list is quite long). The developers want all the artificial trappings - it's marketing. Even after the developers are gone, you have the HOA management company industry which profits from imposing ever more "guidelines" and "interpretations" on homeowners.
Alliance is one of the worst in the area with "mow, weed, edge" being one of the most common "violations" they like to assert. Alliance usually finagles a "priority of payment" scam to apply your assessment payments first to fees other than assessments to enable Alliance to extort fines, collection fees, late fees, etc. from you under threat of foreclosure on your home. The owner of the largest legion of HOA management companies in the U.S. is a Texas State Senator who has consistently operated to prevent any relief to homeowners from the business practices of his management companies.
So in short, quit blaming the homeowners who despite being citizens of the county are denied basic freedoms enjoyed by other citizens of the county. These homeowners aren't allowed to do anything differently and if they attempt to do so they will be fined and threatened with foreclosure. The HOAs are not governments, they are private corporations that have been governmental powers. Your county is privatizing these subdivisions to provide a tax base without providing services. By using this layer of private corporation government, the residents are divested of fundamental constitutional rights such as the right to vote even in the HOA that burdens their property. Your county is just as guilty for forcing these things through subdivision platting "rules" on so many of the citizenry. Perhaps you should think about the propriety of a legislature and judicial system that supports using the threat of foreclosure and private fining to compel homeowners to engage in such conduct.
Houston is the capital of vanity and waste in Texas? The data says otherwise. Dallas is the capital of vanity and waste - particularly with respect to water.
From the Texas Water Development Board, the average gallons per capita per day of water consumed for 2003 in these cities was given as follows:
Houston: 164
Austin: 177
Plano: 225
Dallas: 238
Richardson: 275 gpcpd
Dallas and those living in its suburbs (Richardson, Plano) are clearly the water hogs in the state. Those numbers correlate to high density residential areas and water consuming amenities - not agricultural use. Houston wasn't even in the top 10.
What another story it would make of dumb environmentalists who spend millions to protect a blind salamander from extinction when raccoons do their best to eat as many of them rascals as they can.
So we spend millions on raccoon food? That seems to be the simplest explanation. Seems about as smart as paying for water to keep the St. Aug green, and then cut it and throw it away. (Or if they are green they cut it and leave it on the surface as mulch, and then the mulch replenishes nutrients into the soil - or at least that is how the greenies expect us to believe it). So maybe watering the grass and cutting it for mulch isn't such a bad idea?
Post a Comment